Faster than a DC Bullet: Prose Fiction #11: Project Crisis!, Part LIII: Final Crisis [novelization]

Trade paperback, 305 pages
Published 2010
Borrowed from the library
Read February 2016

Final Crisis by Greg Cox

I think I'm going to have to give up on these novelizations of comic stories, because for the most part, they're too limited by their medium. Marv Wolfman's Crisis on Infinite Earths novelization was great because he played to the strengths of his medium by transforming the multiverse-shattering epic into a personal story. But Cox's novelizations of Infinite Crisis, 52, Countdown, and now Final Crisis have not really done this; instead they mostly transcribe the dialogue and the action. But Cox captures none of the feeling of the stories he's novelizing: I may not have known what to make of Final Crisis, but there's not denying that it's epic and overwhelming and in turns despairing and triumphant. In Cox's telling, all of this is flat, just events without emotional resonance. There's no added depth here; his insights into the characters tend to repeat what they already communicate in dialogue. While Wolfman communicated something new with his novelization of his own story in the original Crisis, and Denny O'Neil's novelization of Knightfall was an adequate substitute for a set of comics I'll probably never get to, reading an outside author's take on comics I've already read hasn't really done much for me thus far.

Next Week: Time to start playing catch-up, first with Gotham cops in Gordon of Gotham!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part LI: Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape

Comic trade paperback, n.pag.
Published 2010 (contents: 2009)
Borrowed from the library
Read August 2015

Final Crisis Aftermath: Escape

Writer: Ivan Brandon

Pencillers: Marco Rudy, Cliff Richards, Neil Edwards
Inkers: Mick Gray, Jack Purcell, JP Mayer, Prentis Rollins
Colorists: The Hories
Letterer: Sal Cipriano

I don't know why all the Final Crisis Aftermath books have verbs for subtitles, but I kind of like it. It would have been even better if they'd all used exclamation marks like Run!, though. Isn't Escape! a much better title than Escape?

In my review of Ink, I said it was my favorite FCA tale, but this one has supplanted it. This is the first of them that doesn't feel like the writer is trying to make something out of Grant Morrison's leftovers, that feels like its writer actually has his own story to tell. Ivan Brandon and Marco Rudy pick up some time after the end of Final Crisis, with its hints about Brother Eye and a Global Peace Agency. In Escape, Tom Tresser-- apparently a master of disguise called "Nemesis," but a new character to me-- wakes up in the Electric City, a sort of prison, a weird surreal prison whose wardens insist it's not a prison, and where his fellow inmates who know him refuse to talk to him. Many of the other prisoners seem to be characters who also worked for the government: Amanda Waller, Rick Flag, Blackhawk (I'm not sure which one-- Janos Prohaska?), Atomic Knight, Cameron Chase, the Spy Smasher.

The writing and the art are both deliberately disorienting, with Brandon providing little in the way of answers and Rudy embedding panels within panels to put the reader off from following the story. The characters don't know who to trust, they don't know who put them where they are or why, and imprisonment might not even be the purpose of their jailers. I was often confused by this story, but always intrigued, as the answers always felt just outside of my grasp. It reminded me-- quite deliberately, I suspect-- of The Prisoner, and that's almost always a good thing. The wheel with the options of DEATH, FREE, PEACE, VIOLENCE, ESCAPE, PANIC, RESET was a great surreal touch, and the seeming time travel elements were perfect icing on the cake of confusion.

I expected the end to be one of those endings that explains nothing, but to my surprise just enough explanations were provided to make me feel like there was a logic to this, and to intrigue me to read on. There was a purpose to everything that happened, one that stems from the events of Final Crisis and has repercussions for the future. I do want to know how the Buddy Blank and Brother Eye we see here relate to the ones from Countdown to Final Crisis and Final Crisis itself, though; that wasn't terribly clear.

Overall, I really enjoyed this. It was bold, it was different, and despite its obvious debts to both The Prisoner and Jack Kirby, I didn't feel like I'd ever encountered anything quite like it. I look forward to seeing what happens to Tom next, and unlike with most of these Final Crisis Aftermath tales, I actually can; Ivan Brandon apparently wrote a followup miniseries called Nemesis: The Impostors. Sadly, it's uncollected, so I'll have to find the floppies somewhere.

Next Week: That's it for Final Crisis and its tie-ins, so I jump backwards slightly to continue my superhero prose fiction reading project with the novelization of Countdown!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part L: Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink

Over on Unreality this week, I've got a review of a Big Finish release of a B7 Production for BBC Radio 4, a one-hour(!) adaptation of Ray Bradbury's The Martian Chronicles. It's got Derek Jacobi and Hayley Atwell in it, which is nice.

Comic trade paperback, n.pag.
Published 2010 (contents: 2009)
Borrowed from the library
Read August 2015

Final Crisis Aftermath: Ink

Writer: Eric Wallace

Artist: Fabrizio Fiorentino
Colorist: Michael DiMotta
Letterers: Pat Brosseau, Steve Wands

Is this the only Final Crisis Aftermath tale that has the same artist draw every issue? Kudos, I guess.

A key part of the "Submit" issue of Final Crisis was the villain Mark Richards a.k.a. the Tattooed Man, who Black Lightning convinced to be a hero for once. That was my first encounter with the character, but he's back here, trying to make a new life as a hero and a member of the Justice League in his hometown of Liberty Hill, a rough part of the D.C./Baltimore metro area.

Like most of these "aftermath" titles, I wanted to like Ink more than I did. How does one go from being a villain to being a hero? As Mark's wife points out to him, it's about more than doing the right thing, it's about living it. I liked this part of the book, and I liked the way Mark's tattoos were depicted: dragons, flying skulls, sexy demon ladies, samurai warriors all coming to life off Mark's body and helping him do battle. The warrior and the demon have minds of their own, Mark discovers during the course of this tale, and he has to navigate their goals and actions as well as take responsibility for his own. Though his storytelling is occasionally obscure, I tended to really like Fabrizio Fiorentino's artwork, especially the way he handled the tattoos themselves, as fantastic creations of light. Fiorentino really captures the murkiness of Liberty Hill throughout the book.

What worked less well for me were two things: Mark's wife and Mark's brother. Mark's wife seems to shift opinions randomly whenever it will help the drama, first telling Mark he needs to do something about their son who is falling into gang membership (I guess she can't do anything herself) then when he makes sure his son goes to jail for murder (a murder he didn't commit, but one he is proud to take credit for, and in a situation where jail is actually the safest place for him to be) she gets all mad at him. Then, when Mark's illusory demon woman momentarily appears in bed with him, his wife kicks him out of the house for having an affair. Women, so irrational, amirite? Secondly, Mark's dead brother is (spoiler) revealed as the villain. I don't know if this backstory was something known to readers of Mark's earlier appearances (which weren't all that many; he seems a pretty obscure character to pick up for Final Crisis), but it's casually tossed off early on in the book, only to suddenly become central to it later on, and it feels completely arbitrary and without resonance. The book would have been better off keeping its focus on the corruption within Liberty Hill itself, which worked well in the early parts of the book, and had more of a genuine emotional throughline.

All that said, this is probably my favorite of the three Final Crisis Aftermath tales thus far. It feels like there's something actually at stake here-- a man's soul-- and it's nice to see that man come out on top. The final page promises more to come in the story of the Tattooed Man, but I'm not sure that ever actually happened.

P.S. Why is the Eastern European nation of Modora (familiar to me from its appearance in the classic Elongated Man: Europe '92) home to a "savage" African tribe? Even for the DCU, that's weird.

Next Week: Is the Global Peace Agency as evil as its name makes it sound? Find out in the last tale of the Final Crisis, Escape!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLIX: Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance

Comic trade paperback, n.pag.
Published 2010 (contents: 2009)
Borrowed from the library
Read August 2015

Final Crisis Aftermath: Dance

Writer: Joe Casey

Pencillers: ChrisCross, André Coelho, Eduardo Pansica
Inkers: Rob Stull, Mick Gray, Wayne Faucher, ChrisCross, André Coelho, Sandro Ribeiro, Marc Deering
Colorists: Snakebite, Pete Pantazis
Letterer: Sal Cipriano

The Super Young Team was one of the more interesting aspects of Final Crisis, a group of Japanese super-teens designed as a contemporary version of Jack Kirby's Forever People, and as a result, Dance was the Final Crisis Aftermath tale that I was looking forward to the most.

Though this came out in 2009, Dance feels like it could sit alongside what Phil Sandifer calls the "New Pop" style of contemporary comics, like Batgirl and Young Avengers. Except that... it's just not as good. There could be some interesting ideas about the boldness of youth, what it means to grow up, how to be a superhero in the era of Twitter, but none of that's actually here. Rather, we watch the Super Young Team be manipulated by hackneyed PR managers for five issues when they suddenly get their crap together and save the day. It's not quite as cliche as it sounds-- I did like that Most Excellent Superbat doesn't decide to give up Twitter, but instead invents a replacement for it that joins people brain-to-brain, and I also liked the reveal of the grave threat facing Japan-- but it didn't really have anything to say.

There are glimpses of big ideas in it, but they don't come to fruition. Both Most Excellent Superbat and Shiny Happy Aquazon ultimately turn down heroes from the previous generation to forge their own paths, but there's no sense of why it's important, of what the younger generation gains by rejecting the older generation's identity and forging its own. Or, what about the fact that the supposed deficiencies of this generation come from the previous one: we're just living in the PR-fueled world our parents created. Nothing like this is really grappled with. The book just becomes generic superheroics without anything to say that you haven't seen before, even if it does occasionally want to try.

I feel like there's potential in these characters, so it's a shame this was it for them, as far as I know; the "New 52" reboot restored the original Forever People in an insta-cancelled series by Dan DiDio and Keith Giffen. All five of them seemed like they could be really interesting given the chance, and I also really liked the sense of a history of Japanese superheroics created by Morrison and Casey, with the JLA-esque Big Science Action, who shout delightful things like "Big Science Emergency"! The appearances of ur-hero Ultimon-Alpha, with his stereotypical doomsaying, was one of my favorite parts of the books. Hopefully someone tries something with the Super Young Team again one day; I really like it when DC takes that very American idea of the superhero and filters it through the sensibilities of other cultures.

Next Week: What will become of the Tattooed Man now that he's turned from villain to hero? Find out in Ink!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLVIII: Final Crisis Aftermath: Run!

Comic trade paperback, 144 pages
Published 2010 (contents: 2009)
Borrowed from the library
Read July 2015

Final Crisis Aftermath: Run!

Writer: Matthew Sturges

Artist: Freddie Williams II
Colorists: The Hories
Letterer: Travis Lanham

A few months after the end of Final Crisis, the Human Flame-- for whom Libra murdered the Martian Manhunter, thus convincing Earth's criminal fraternity to join his side-- wakes up in the hospital. He decides, small-time idiot that he is, to go on the run. And soon, everyone's after him: the Justice League, bounty hunters, criminals angry that Libra's plan didn't work out. And he picks up more enemies as he goes, including mobsters and the Endangered Army of General Immortus.

The Human Flame is purposefully portrayed as a pathetic villain here: not a has-been, but a never-was. He's not smart, he's not funny, he's not lovable. He's just a scumbag who thought he got lucky, but it blew up in his face, as almost everything does. Run! keeps him continuously on the move, escalating his situation, with more and more people pursuing him as he gains more and more power. I can't say I finished Final Crisis wondering what would happen to the Human Flame next, but this is a pretty diverting way to find out. The book is amusing, but not a laugh riot. I enjoyed the art of Freddie Williams II; it's somewhat grotesque, but also somewhat cartoonish, which is perfect for the subject matter. There's some gruesome violence here, but by and large it doesn't convince you of its reality, which is what I think this book really calls for.

Its essential problem is twofold: on the whole the book is pretty substanceless. You don't really learn anything about the Human Flame by chapter 6 that you didn't already know in chapter 1. Run! isn't really a book with anything to say. This might be okay, except that the book is six issues long. You could have substanceless three-issue runaround, or a substantial six-issue one, but as it is, it feels like a decent idea has been spread too thinly. Hopefully future Final Crisis Aftermath stories (they're all six issues long) have more to say than this one.

I did, however, really enjoy the Human Flame's short-lived ally, the Condiment King. A villain whose entire modus operandi is based around condiment puns ("mayo I intercede," "I'm soy glad to meet you," "you mustard up the courage"), this guy deserves all the exposure he can get. And surely he ought to ally himself with the greatest of supervillain teams, the Wurstwaffe.

Next Week: The aftermath of the Final Crisis continues as we catch up with the Super Young Team in Dance.

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLVII: Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge

First off, my ongoing attempt to catch up on audio reviews continues, with The Diary of River Song: Series One at Unreality SF.

Secondly, for months now, you've been reading (whoever you are, dear reader) comics reviews written months after I read the comics in question, and since I get them from the library, usually without the comic in question to hand. That all changes today! Even though this review didn't appear until March 2016, I actually wrote it in July 2015, immediately after finishing the book. This means, I hope, better reviews with more detailed commentary.

Comic hardcover, 144 pages
Published 2009 (contents: 2002-08) 
Borrowed from the library
Read July 2015

Final Crisis: Rogues' Revenge

Writer: Geoff Johns

Penciller: Scott Kolins
Inkers: Scott Kolins, Dan Panosian, Doug Hazlewood
Colorists: Dave McCaig, James Sinclair
Letterers: Nick J. Napolitano, Gaspar Saladino, Kurt Hathaway

This is the last of the during-Final-Crisis tie-ins in my readthrough-- there are still some "aftermath" titles to review, though. Like Legion of 3 Worlds and Revelations, this story seems to primarily be using the events of Final Crisis as an excuse to catch up with some other characters, the basic hook here being that Libra is trying to recruit the Flash's Rogues Gallery into his organization (this is before Libra is revealed as the herald of Darkseid), but the Rogues want nothing of it: they just want to lay low, since they're still on the run for the murder of the Bart Allen Flash. They plan to take out Inertia, the evil speedster who co-ordinated their murder of Allen.

I don't have much familiarity with the Rogues, unlike the characters featured in Legion of 3 Worlds and Revelations, which definitely hindered my enjoyment of the story; all I really know about them comes from their appearances in Countdown to Final Crisis (where they're also on the run for Bart's murder). In reading Rogues' Revenge, I felt like I was on the edge of reading a good story, it was just that I didn't have the emotional investment in these characters that the story wants you to have. Johns doesn't do much to introduce the reader to them, but rather throws you in at the deep end of their characterizations and histories. What I did grasp had me interested: these are a group of messed-up criminals, to be sure, but they're people, not supervillains cackling and trying to take over the world. Captain Cold especially is put through the emotional wringer here, but he seems to emerge the stronger for it. You do get those Geoff Johns splash pages that seem designed to excite someone who knows more than me; "I'm Kid Zoom!" shouts Inertia triumphantly, as if that has some kind of intrinsic significance.

Scott Kolins's art is very good; he does interesting things with panel layout that are occasionally hard to follow, but usually work well in establishing the oppressive tone of the book; it's really on tone where this books succeeds, between Kolins's art and Dave McCaig's colors, everything is appropriately gloomy. There's the occasional flashback scene that's not clearly marked as such, but if such a technique is good enough for Chris Ware, then I'm sure Johns and Kolins can use it too. The pasts of the Rogues very much live on in their presents.

There are two extra stories in the back of the book, "Absolute Zero" and "Rogue Profile: Zoom," which lay out histories for Captain Cold and Zoom, respectively, both reprinted from Johns and Kolins's 2000-05 run on The Flash. I ought to have read them first, as they make stuff in the main story much more clear. I have Johns's Flash Omnibus volumes on my shelf, waiting to be read; perhaps I'll reread Rogues' Revenge once I have the grounding in Flash lore the story obviously expects.

Next Week: We finally move to the aftermath of the Final Crisis, and it's time to Run!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLVI: Final Crisis: Revelations

Comic hardcover, n.pag.
Published 2009 (contents: 2008-09) 
Borrowed from the library
Read June 2015

Final Crisis: Revelations

Writer: Greg Rucka

Penciller: Philip Tan
Inkers: Jonathan Glapion, Jeff de los Santos, Walden Wong
Colorists: Ian Hannin, Nei Ruffino
Letterer: John J. Hill
Illustration: Steve Lieber

The decision, during Infinite Crisis and 52, to take two of DC's best nonsuperhuman characters, Gotham cops Renee Montoya and Crispus Allen, and transform them into superheroes of sorts is one I have sort of a mixed reaction to. I did really like the Question coaching Renee to move beyond her anger and eventually step into her place, and I felt that Allen as the Spectre had some potential as well. Revelations brings back both characters, along with Kate Kane as Batwoman (also introduced in 52), showing what they get up to involving the Crime Bible during the Final Crisis. What the story does is confirm that really, these characters should have stayed as they were in Gotham Central. Rucka and Tan do their best, but this is generic comic-mystical gubbins; Montoya and Allen were much better served as ordinary cops navigating an extraordinary world than they are being extraordinary characters. There are flashes of interest in Revelations, but much of it seems to be Rucka doing damage control (Allen's son was killed in a previous Spectre series not written by Rucka, and Rucka brings him back here), and too much of it focuses on the potentially-interesting-but-usually-not Religion of Crime.

Next Week: What are the old enemies of the Flash doing during Final Crisis? Yes, I wasn't really wondering either, but let's find out in Rogues' Revenge!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLV: Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds

Comic hardcover, n.pag.
Published 2009 (contents: 2008-09) 
Acquired and read June 2015

Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds

​

Writer: Geoff Johns

Penciller: George Pérez
Inker: Scott Koblish
Letterer: Nick Napolitano

This story's connections to the main Final Crisis are tenuous at best: basically it serves to explain how Superman ends up in the 31st century, which he returns from after a month-long absence near the end of Final Crisis. What he was up to in the meantime was helping the Legion of Super-Heroes battle Superboy of Earth-Prime, in what must be the only good Superboy-Prime story: Superboy is portrayed as a cynical, obnoxious fanboy that hates the very optimism that the Legion represents. Geoff Johns likes to tell stories that don't show why someone is awesome, but constantly tell you they are, and Legion of 3 Worlds definitely does that for the Legion, but in this case, he makes it work, and it's fun to see the "reboot" and "threeboot" versions of the Legion united with this "deboot" version of the original, even if the focus is squarely on the original Legion. (Of the other two versions of the Legion, really only their versions of Brainiac 5 get any focus.)

The future is kind of stupid.
from Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #1

A couple complaints, though: Superman and the Legion of Super-Heroes mentioned a case called "Legion of the 3 Worlds," which turns out to not be this one, but an unseen past one that sounds incredibly complicated, but for some reason this adventure we've never seen has continuity ramification for the one we're reading. Huh? The other is that two different issues end with the restoration to life of... Teen Titans! Characters from a completely different series who have nothing to do with this one. It's a little weird (though getting back the clone Superboy of Earth-Zero is a nice touch, given it was Superboy-Prime who killed him in Infinite Crisis.)

Brainiac 5 vs Brainiac 5 vs Brainiac 5 at the meeting of three Legions!
from Final Crisis: Legion of 3 Worlds #2

But overall, this is a fun, crowd-pleasing book. The complicated planning of Brainiac 5 is always a delight, and getting three Brainiacs makes it even better. I wanted more Saturn Girl, though! It doesn't have the character depth of Legion heights like The Great Darkness Saga or Legion Lost, but it does have the undefeatable storytelling skills of George Pérez, the master of the page with over a dozen panels as well as the two-page spread. Pérez knows how the punctuate the big moments, and when to let them breathe-- and of course a book about three different Legions is perfect for his infamous ability to cram in a bajillion characters.

Next Week: Time for some Revelations!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLIV: Final Crisis Companion

Comic trade paperback, n.pag.
Published 2009 (contents: 2008-09) 
Borrowed from the library
Read June 2015

Final Crisis Companion

​

Writers: Grant Morrison, Len Wein, Peter J. Tomasi, Greg Rucka, Eric Trautmann

Artists: J. G. Jones, Tony Shasteen, Doug Mahnke, Christian Alamy, Rodney Ramos, Ryan Sook, Marco Rudy
Colorists: Alex Bleyaert, Nei Ruffino, Jeromy Cox
Letterers: Rob Leigh, John J. Hill

Like the Infinite Crisis Companion before it, the Final Crisis Companion collects a number of stories taking place during its mother title. It also includes the Final Crisis #1 "Director's Cut," the uncolored and unlettered art of issue #1 of Final Crisis, along with some commentary from Grant Morrison and J. G. Jones. This is also collected in the back of Absolute Final Crisis, where it comes across as a nice extra: here it's more like padding, trying to get this thin volume up to a marketable length.

Other than that, this contains three stories set during Final Crisis. "Requiem" overlaps with issues #1 and 2, and is about the effects of the death of the Martian Manhunter, with five heroes telepathically hearing his death cries. I remembered absolutely nothing about it when I went to write this review, so I think we can safely assume the story did nothing of interest.

"Resist" is set in the month-long gap between issues #3 and 4, chronicling what Checkmate is doing to fight back against Darkseid. Snapper Carr is in it as a teleporting Checkmate agent, drawing on both Invasion! and The Four Horsemen; for some reason, he ends up having sex with the Wonder Woman villain Cheetah. This is the only thing I remember. Greg Rucka's work with Checkmate in the Infinite Crisis tie-ins was much more interesting.

And then there's "Balancing Act!," which explains how minor villain Libra became an agent of Darkseid and also what he has to do with Starman. Like a lot of these kinds of stories, it answers questions no one was asking, and it seems to exist solely to give writer Len Wein something to compensate him for creating Libra (used heavily by Morrison in the main Final Crisis book) in the first place.

I suggested that the Infinite Crisis Companion stories could have been included in their mother book to answer some outstanding questions left by the main narrative; I have almost the exact opposite recommendation for the Final Crisis Companion. Had these stories gone uncollected, I don't think anyone would have noticed at all.

Next Week: At the same time as this but in the future, it's time for the meeting of the Legion of 3 Worlds!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLIII: Absolute Final Crisis

Comic hardcover, n.pag.
Published 2012 (contents: 2008-09) 
Borrowed from the library
Read June 2015

Absolute Final Crisis

​

Script: Grant Morrison

Art: J. G. Jones, Doug Mahnke, Carlos Pacheco, Matthew Clark, Jesus Merino, Marco Rudy, Christian Alamy, Tom Nguyen, Drew Geraci, Norm Rapmund, Rodney Ramos, Walden Wong, Derek Fridolfs, Rob Hunter, Mark Irwin, Don Ho, Lee Garbett, Trevor Scott
Color: Alex Sinclair, Tony Avina, Pete Pantazis, David Baron, Richard & Tanya Horie, Guy Major
3-D effects: Ray Zone
Letters: Rob Leigh, Rob Clark Jr., Travis Lanham, Steve Wands, Ken Lopez, Jared K. Fletcher

Final Crisis turns out to be one of those books I don't really know what I thought of. Grant Morrison always packs a lot into his stories, but this one packs in even more than most: it's a murder mystery, it's a trip by Superman in a forgotten realm, it's the triumph of evil over the world, it's about resistance and redemption, it's the death of Batman, it's the threat to all the multiverse, it's the return of Barry Allen from the dead, it's the death of the Martian Manhunter. There are a crazy amount of strands here, and one's never quite sure what kind of story one is actually reading. There was stuff I liked, obscure trivia that delighted me (the Green Man from The Omega Men makes an appearance!), and the themes seemed to be of interest when I could grasp them.

But I couldn't always integrate what I was reading into a big picture, so ultimately my response is more tepid than I'd like: this is one of those stories one ought to love or hate, and yet here I am, being lukewarm. Now that I know the shape of the whole, I'd like to reread it and see what I think. Some day, I guess!

Next Week: There's no possible way to make an exciting-sounding blurb for something called Final Crisis Companion!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XLI: Countdown to Final Crisis: 12...11...10...09...08...07...06...05...04...03...02...01...00...

Comic trade paperback, 271 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2008) 
Borrowed from the library
Read May 2015

Countdown to Final Crisis: 12...11...10...09...08...07...06...05...04...03...02...01...00...

​

Writers: Paul Dini, Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti, Adam Beechen, Sean McKeever
Story Consultant: Keith Giffen

Pencillers: Jesus Saiz, Tom Derenick, Mike Norton, Scott Kolins, Carlos Magno, Jim Starlin, Jamal Igle, Freddie Williams II
Inkers: Jimmy Palmiotti, Scott Kolins, Freddie Williams II, Mark McKenna, Wayne Faucher, Rod Ramos, Keith Champagne
Letterers: Ken Lopez, Travis Lanham, Steve Wands
Colorist: Pete Pantazis

Do you remember when Earth-51 was destroyed in volume three of Countdown to Final Crisis? Well, apparently none of the writers or characters in volume four do, because here it's destroyed all over again! I think because the account of its destruction in volume three was inconsistent with that of its destruction in Final Crisis, they rolled the events back and did it all over again to make it match up with the account that was given in Final Crisis. Sloppy plotting at its finest!

Other things that don't matter:

• Harley Quinn and Holly Robinson are given superpowers by the Amazonian gods. No one cares!
• Mary Marvel is arbitrarily given her powers back. Then she loses them. Then she turns evil again. Then she's fine. What is the point of all this? I have absolutely no idea. This character has essentially been brainwashed off-and-on for 52 issues. What on Earth could even be interesting about that? We haven't learned a thing about Mary as a character. No one cares!
• Various members of the Legion of Super-Heroes are killed off. No one cares!
• The cover of issue #4 is a close-up on Mary Marvel's giant boobs. No one cares!
• Darkseid and Orion have a final showdown. Again. No one cares!
• The Challengers from Beyond (that utterly dull group of characters including Jason Todd, Donna Troy, and some others I don't even remember) tell the Monitors that they'll be monitoring them. You can expect this to literally never be followed up on despite the fact that it really ought to impact Final Crisis because... No one cares!

Really, the only joy you can take in Countdown to Final Crisis at this point is mocking it. It's astounding that talented people like Paul Dini, Keith Giffen, and Jim Starlin got together and produced 1,159 pages of sheer worthlessness. But at least it was always fast-paced, I guess?

Next Week: More stuff no one could ever care about! Lord Havok and the Extremists!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XXXIX: Countdown to Final Crisis: 25...24...23...22...21...20...19...18...17...16...15...14...13...

My wife and I spent December and January rewatching the E-Space trilogy, a classic 1980-81 run of Doctor Who stories. Not exactly coincidentally, I have a review up at Unreality SF of Big Finish's audio sequel, the New E-Space Trilogy. It was interesting to experience the two trilogies in close proximity: it diminished my enjoyment of some of the audio stories, and enhanced that of others! (Something I forgot to mention in my review: I like how 35 years after it was mentioned for the first and last time in State of Decay, Jonathan Morris finally provided an explanation for what "The Wasting" was in The Entropy Plague!)

Comic trade paperback, 294 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2007-08) 
Borrowed from the library
Read May 2015

Countdown to Final Crisis: 25...24...23...22...21...20...19...18...17...16...15...14...13...

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Writers: Paul Dini, Adam Beechen, Justin Gray, Jimmy Palmiotti, Tony Bedard, Sean McKeever
Story Consultant: Keith Giffen

Pencillers: Ron Lim, Tom Derenick, Carlos Magno, Jamal Igle, Howard Porter, Jesus Saiz, Scott Kolins, Pete Woods
Inkers: Jimmy Palmiotti, Scott Kolins, Pete Woods, John Stanisci, Wayne Faucher, Rod Ramos, Mark McKenna, Art Thibert
Letterers: Travis Lanham, Rob Leigh, Ken Lopez, Jared K. Fletcher, Steve Wands
Colorists: Pete Pantazis, Tom Chu

Because I got horrendously behind, I've been writing this stretch of reviews (from July 2015's 52 Omnibus to March 2016's Final Crisis: Revelations) without reference to the actual books, months after I read them. (Ten months in this case!) I'm finding that many of the details of Countdown to Final Crisis have faded into oblivion, even when I read synopses of the stories in the Grand Comics Database, I kind of wonder if these events really happened in something I read. All I really remember is a massive sense of disappointment and futility. But here are a couple notes:

• Superboy-Prime, now Superman-Prime, is in it. That pretty much never works to the advantage of a story, as he is a worse villain than even Monarch and Mongul.
• Pied Piper having to drag around the Trickster's body is actually kind of effective. Of course, it might have been emotionally devastating if these two had been written in a way at all interesting prior to this.
• The cover to issue #18 (by Karl Kerschl) is actually, genuinely great.
• Earth-51 is destroyed and everyone on it dies. You should remember this, because the writers didn't.
• Jesus Christ, who gives a crap about Monarch? Armageddon 2001 was seventeen years ago, DC. Let it go.

Next Week: There came a time when the New Gods died! It was in a trade paperback called The Death of the New Gods!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XXXVI: Countdown to Final Crisis: 38...37...36...35...34...33...32...31...30...29...28...27...26...

Comic trade paperback, 294 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2007) 
Borrowed from the library
Read March 2015

Countdown to Final Crisis: 38...37...36...35...34...33...32...31...30...29...28...27...26...

​

Writers: Paul Dini, Justin Gray & Jimmy Palmiotti, Adam Beechen, Tony Bedard, Sean McKeever
Story Consultant: Keith Giffen

Pencillers: Jesus Saiz, David Lopez, Mike Norton, Jim Calafiore, Manuel Garcia, Carlos Magno, Al Barrionuevo
Inkers: Jimmy Palmiotti, Don Hillsman, Rod Ramos, Jack Purcell, Mark McKenna, Jay Leisten, Art Thibert
Letterers: Jared K. Fletcher, Ken Lopez, Travis Lanham
Colorists: Tom Chu, Alex Bleyaert, Pete Pantazis, Rod Reis

Forget anything nice I said about Volume One, because as soon as you have time to think about it, Countdown to Final Crisis is terrible. In this volume:

• Jimmy Olsen learns that his powers only activate when he's in danger for the fourth or fifth time.
• Mary Marvel acts like a spoiled brat; upon learning she's gone evil, Zatanna's reaction is to shrug her shoulders and do nothing about it.
• All sorts of terrible and uninteresting and incomprehensible stuff happens revolving around whether or not Jason Todd is evil, whether or not the Monitors are evil, whether or not you can tell the Monitors apart, whether or not anyone cares abut Monarch (stop trying to make Monarch happen, DC), whether or not Donna Troy has a personality, whether or not anyone has ever cared about Lord Havok and the Extremists, and it's just painful and dull through and through.
• Mary Marvel is duped by Klarion the Witch-Boy like a rank amateur. Grant Morrison reinvents a character for you, DC, and the only thing you can think to do with him is put him in Countdown!?
• The story ties into The Battle for Blüdhaven, I can only assume because God hates us. (Jack Kirby's Buddy Blank of OMAC fame is living under Blüdhaven.)
• Karate Kid is sick for some reason. 
• Jimmy Olsen and a bug-woman fall in love with each other, seemingly just because she's hot. No one ever explains what she might see in him.

I'll admit I did kind of like Supergirl and Stargirl trying to get into Black Canary's bachelorette party.

At least we're halfway through!

Next Week: We take a break from the countdown to find out what Uncle Sam and the Freedom Fighters are up to in Brave New World!

Faster than a DC Bullet: Project Crisis!, Part XXXV: Countdown to Final Crisis: 51...50...49...48...47...46...45...44...43...42...41...40...39...

A little belated, but up at USF I've got a review of the Doctor Who: Short Trips Monthly reading Foreshadowing, featuring my favorites, the Eighth Doctor and Charley.

Comic trade paperback, 295 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2007) 
Borrowed from the library
Read March 2015

Countdown to Final Crisis: 51...50...49...48...47...46...45...44...43...42...41...40...39...*

​

Writers: Paul Dini, Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray, Tony Bedard, Adam Beechen, Sean McKeever
Story Consultant: Keith Giffen

Pencillers: Jesus Saiz, Jim Calfiore, Carlos Magno, David Lopez, Tom Derenick, Manual Garcia, Dennis Calero
Inkers: Jimmy Palmiotti, Dennis Calero, Mark McKenna, Jay Leisten, Don Hillsman, Alvaro Lopez, Andre Pepoy, Jack Purcell, John Stanisci
Letterers: Travis Lanham, Pat Brosseau, Jared K. Fletcher, Rob Leigh, Phil Balsman, Ken Lopez
Colorists: Tom Chu, Rod Reis, Guy Major, Pete Pantazis

And so begins the long run to Final Crisis, with the beginning of a miniseries disowned seemingly by everyone involved. In retrospect, this had pretty much nothing at all to do with Final Crisis, or less than nothing, even. But it begins with us following a number of parallel plotlines: two of the Rogues on the run for murdering (or not murdering, it's very unclear) Bart Allen, the fourth (I think) Flash; Jason Todd and Donna Troy being recruited to scour the multiverse (recently revealed to exist, or perhaps re-exist, in 52); Holly Robinson, friend of Catwoman (and former Catwoman herself) joining the Amazons along with a reformed Harley Quinn; Jimmy Olsen investigating the deaths of the New Gods; Darkseid is playing with action figures; and Karate Kid and Una (who used to be Duo Damsel who used to be Triplicate Girl) of the Legion of Super-Heroes traveling the 21st century in search of... something.

Despite also being a weekly series of 52 issues, this is pretty different from 52 in one key way. While each issue of 52 corresponded to a week, this series has no such chronological restriction; each issue covers a short span of time, and is pretty much picked up right after in the next one. This gives Countdown to Final Crisis a certain energy that actually made it a pretty enjoyable read, as each issue is a series of crazy events that throws you right into the next issue's series of crazy events, with no time to reflect on what's going on.

Which is good, because what's going on doesn't always make a lot of sense. Countdown weaves in and out of some other comics (most notably, I think, The Lightning Saga, Amazons Attack, and the death of Bart Allen), none of which I've actually read. Sometimes you can follow it, but sometimes you can't at all-- though I gather from reading on-line that the links to The Lightning Saga with Karate Kid were incoherent even to people who'd read both. Why is Karate Kid on a quest? How did he get sick? None of these things that seem like they are important to this story are actually explained in it; I finally figured it out by reading the character description in volume two!

And then there are the incoherences within the series, like the fact that none of the writers and artists seem to be on the same page about many of the details of the Rogue plotline, where things such as their powers, appearances, and plight fluctuate between each issue collected here. And I think Jimmy Olsen does the same thing essentially three times!

But it's all so fast, the book almost gets away with it... for now. I'll admit I had fun reading this, and didn't think it was quite as bad as the world made it out to be.

Yes, that's damning with faint praise.

Next Week: More counting down in the second volume of Countdown to Final Crisis!

* The cover, and much of the Internet, claims that this book is called Countdown to Final Crisis, Volume One, but if I've learned anything from graduate school, it's how to read a title page, and this is clearly what the title page says, as cumbersome as it might be!