Birth-Story II

I feel like somehow we expected forewarning. Like, we had this sense it was a bit off, even though we were less than two weeks away from the due date-- and our first one had been born two weeks away from the due date! Last time, I even wrote about it was anticlimactic and sudden... and yet I was surprised all over again this time.

I guess maybe it was because of the way it happened. Hayley had gone in for her weekly check-up, and she called me afterwards. I couldn't hear a word she said though, except for "today." After us calling each other two or three times but to no avail, she finally just sent me a text: "We are going to the hospital today. I need to be there in 2-3 hours or so." When I asked why, she replied, "My fluids are high." This was around 2:30 on the Monday before Christmas.

What! So there I sat googling while she drove home. I guess too much amniotic fluids can carry some risks, and the midwives thought it was better we induce and deliver the baby than let things go on. So Hayley came home and we finalized things. Last time, we hadn't even finished packing the hospital "go bag"-- thankfully we had just wrapped that up a few days prior! My sister had come into town to stay with us and help with Son One leading up to, during, and after the birth; she would watch him while we went to the hospital.

Hayley pointed out that there is a lot of "hurry up and wait" at hospitals, so our plan was that we would get ready, I would drop her off at the hospital, and then I would go back home to eat dinner and help put Son One to bed before returning to the hospital.

She was right. I had dropped her off at the hospital around 5pm; by the time I got back to the hospital around 8pm, she was still sitting in the triage room, waiting, along with her doula. She had been hooked up to the monitors, though, which had revealed that she had been having tiny contractions she couldn't even feel.

(Last time around, me, my mother, and the doula all went to the hospital with Hayley. In the pandemic era, things are much different. Back in March, when we found out she was pregnant, we were told she could have just one support person. Later, they changed that to a doula and a support person. But even so, things were more restrictive; last time, I came and went after the delivery, but this time I was only allowed to do that once per day.)

We kept on waiting. They kept coming in, saying they were just waiting for a labor and delivery room to be cleaned so she could use it, and then coming in and saying it again. It turned out that lots of women were coming in in labor, and so kept getting priority over someone who needed to be induced. Clearly, a lot of people were determined to get their deliveries over and done with by Christmas!

A little bit before midnight, the midwife came in and told me and the doula that we should just go home and get a few hours' sleep, as things weren't moving along... a few minutes later, as we were packing up, she came back and told us never mind, a room was free!

Hayley was finally started on pitocin at 12:30am. The contractions were still much smaller than last time, though, so much though that she actually got some sleep-- something that would have been impossible last time around. Things didn't move very quickly; finally around 6:30am, the midwives decided to break her water manually, and the contractions intensified.

It was almost funny how quickly they intensified. Hayley suggested I get go some breakfast from the cafeteria because they weren't that strong; by the time I got back, she didn't want to make any small talk because she was being hit by them over and over.

I've seen labor and delivery twice now, and I remain in awe. It is clearly so hard and so painful. Hayley pushed and pushed once she was told to, and the moment where you realize no there really is a human head coming out down there had me biting down on my lip to stop from crying. The kind of happy tears, the flood of joy that you've seen someone do something amazing. In that moment, I was so proud of her. I feel like I am not being adequate to the experience here, but it does very much transcend my ability to talk about it meaningfully and without cliché.

At 8:55am on Tuesday, December 22nd, our Christmas baby was born.

Last time, you may recall, there was a fourth-degree laceration and a lot of blood. The midwife was totally on top of it and prepared to stop that from happening. Hayley had wanted to give birth on her hands and knees (as she did last time), but the midwife had a plan to get things lined up for everything to go as smoothly as possible. Once she realized this, Hayley gave in, and everything was fine; there was just a tiny tear that was sewn up with a single stitch.

Given there were no complications for mom or baby, we were thankfully out of the hospital the next day.

Last time I wrote one of these, I reflected on what it was like being a dad now. Well, now I have been father for two-and-a-half years, and trying to stay on top of two kids is a whole 'nother thing entirely! But that, I think, will be fodder for another post.