Faster than a DC Bullet: Birds of Prey, Part XIII: Platinum Flats

Comic trade paperback, 137 pages
Published 2009 (contents: 2008-09)
Borrowed from the library
Read March 2013

Birds of Prey: Platinum Flats

Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencillers: Michael O'Hare, Nicola Scott, Claude St. Aubin
Inkers: John Floyd, Doug Hazlewood
Letterers: Sal Cipriano, Jared K. Fletcher, Pat Brosseau, Travis Lanham, Swands

Tony Bedard, writer of Club Kids, returns to Birds of Prey with this volume, and though his approach is more plot-driven and less character-focused than his last time out, he still demonstrates that he understands the characters of the Birds of Prey and sets up some strong scenarios for them. As this book opens, the Birds have just relocated to Platinum Flats, the Silicon Valley of the DC Universe, and it's a decent setting, fitting enough for Oracle, and indicative of a new direction the book will never get to carry out, as this is its last volume (in this incarnation). There are some definite cool parts to it, especially the potential of Misfit attending a high school where the Huntress is a teacher, that's a shame will never go anywhere.

The main plot of the book, picking up from what was set up in Metropolis or Dust, initially concerns the evil tech syndicate at the heart of Platinum Flats, but this is soon derailed by the arrival of the Joker. The tech folks are good villains in and of themselves, especially the half-dead Gizmo, and Bedard has done some good work with the Calculator, but the arrival of the Joker is what makes the book-- it's the first real rematch between Barbara and the Joker since the legendary events of The Killing Joke. Physically inferior to the Joker, Barbara has to rely on her wits and her determination in fighting him, and she shows what an awesome character she's become since she stopped being Batgirl in the course of this showdown-- especially its end, which is fantastic.

Also: I love Carface. Shame this guy never became a recurring villain.

Misfit is as fun as always in this volume-- I love it when she shows up with Huntress's bike-- and the appearance of Dinah was a little gratuitous, but welcome. On the other hand. Manhunter continues to feel like she's only on the periphery of this team, and Infinity is just kinda there.

The first issue here is, alas, the last of long-running art team Nicola Scott and Doug Hazlewood, who have definitely been the best to grace this title. No one draws Huntress quite so well, I think. But Michael O'Hare and Claude St. Aubin are both able replacements-- a little sketchier in style, but still quite good.

I don't really understand why Birds of Prey had to end, but if it did, this is a good way to go out.

Faster than a DC Bullet: Birds of Prey, Part XII: Metropolis or Dust

Comic trade paperback, 126 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2008)
Borrowed from the library
Read March 2013

Birds of Prey: Metropolis or Dust

Writer: Sean McKeever
Penciller: Nicola Scott
Inker: Doug Hazlewood
Letterers: Swands, John J. Hill, Nick J. Napolitano

There's a new writer on Birds of Prey again, and this time it's Sean McKeever, known to you and me as the writer of Spider-Man Loves Mary Jane. Nicola Scott and Doug Hazlewood are still there on art, in their fourth volume, which makes this the most consistent Birds of Prey art team to date. Bravo! Also they still rock.

Metropolis or Dust never quite clicked for me-- it certainly doesn't rise to the heights of Mary Jane, though of course McKeever's doing nothing like that book here. There are two main plots: Oracle, Misfit, and Black Alice investigating a magical weapons ring, while Lady Blackhawk and the Huntress look into someone from Lady Blackhawk's past.

The former of these is... not great, with an out-of-character Superman, not to mention the constant bickering between Misfit and Black Alice, which is not at all interesting. I've seen a decent amount of fan venom addressed toward Misfit on-line, but I like here... except in this book. Which is odd, because McKeever is actually really good at writing teen characters normally. The vague conspiracy and villains didn't really light the imagination much.

The other one has a lot of good moments-- Lady Blackhawk attacking a volcano is great, and the underwater scenes are gorgeous and spooky-- but overall it's kinda meh. Are we still doing this Unwilling Bride of Evil thing in the 21st century?

Faster than a DC Bullet: Birds of Prey, Part XI: Club Kids

Comic trade paperback, 126 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2007-08)
Borrowed from the library
Read March 2013

Birds of Prey: Club Kids

Writer: Tony Bedard
Pencillers: Nicola Scott, Jason Orfalas, David Cole
Inkers: Doug Hazlewood, Rodney Ramos, Jason Orfalas
Letterers: Travis Lanham, Ken Lopez, Rob Leigh, Swands

Tony Bedard takes over Birds of Prey for this volume; I previously enjoyed his work on Green Arrow and Black Canary and R.E.B.E.L.S., and what's here maintains that quality: fast, light action, but with a strong focus on characters and characterization. Rather than one overarching story, Club Kids is made up of five single-issue stories, a technique that works well as Bedard makes his mark on the title.

The first, "Stone Cold Knockout," alternates between Dinah and Barbara discussing Dinah's impending nuptials and a killer pursuing the New God (and Secret Six member) Knockout. The former is fun, and provides some much-needed preparation for that marriage, while the latter was hard to care about, but still decent. Best part of the issue was definitely Big Barda learning how to play Pokémon. It's nice to see Bedard get Dinah and Ollie's history right, too, instead of portraying (as has become de rigeur since Judd Winnick's run) Ollie as having been a constant philanderer.

The next, "The Fan Club," focuses on the Huntress, and well captures the character's awesomeness, as she simultaneously saves a hijacked school bus and stops a plot to do massive damage to Metropolis. Huntress is a violent, angry character, but not an impulsive idiot, and Bedard shows her at her best here.

"Nerds of Prey" is an Oracle-focused story, resuming the conflict between Oracle and the Calculator that had been dropped for the last few volumes of Birds of Prey. Again, this is just fun, as the two characters end up at the same software expo trying to outhack one another. (Also, it finally explains why and how Barbara's base was destroyed back in Between Dark & Dawn!) I found Simone's Calculator a little too one-note and creepy at times, but Bedard amps up the comedy enough to make it work.

The best story in the book is probably "The Warrior Wake of Zinda Blake," where Lady Blackhawk mourns the (cursory, off-panel) death of a friend in her own distinctive way... by boozing it up, hijacking a taxi, and going on a cross-country chase. Bonus points for gratuitous inclusion of an Amish buggy. It's a complete blast, and probably the best (only?) Zinda-focused story in the series yet.

The final story is the weakest, more so due to placement than any intrinsic problem, I think. "Club Kids" confusingly takes place after Metropolis or Dust, the next book, so Misfit and Black Alice have a history that hasn't actually been seen. Why not put it there? It's actually pretty okay, just nothing special: Misfit and Black Alice must work together to escape from the Dark Side Club. (This volume's third reference to the then-impending Final Crisis.)

Overall, this is a fun set of stories, and one of my favorite Birds of Prey books so far. The characters have nothing to worry about in Tony Bedard's hands, only they're about to change hands again...

Faster than a DC Bullet: Birds of Prey, Part X: Dead of Winter

Comic trade paperback, 124 pages
Published 2008 (contents: 2007)
Borrowed from the library
Read March 2013

Birds of Prey: Dead of Winter

Writer: Gail Simone
Penciller: Nicola Scott
Inker: Doug Hazlewood
Letterer: Travis Lanham

Dead of Winter picks up pretty close to the end of Blood and Circuits: the Spy Smasher has seized control of the Birds of Prey, sending them on a mission into Russia to track down a dangerous weapon, where they come into conflict with the Secret Six, who I guess are a supervillain/mercenary team that Gail Simone has also written for.

There's a lot of running around and fighting; it's a shame that Simone wasn't able to go out with something more character-focused, though Dead of Winter certainly has its moments. I loved the interplay between the Huntress and Catman, Harley Quinn was hilarious, I am starting to like Manhunter (and looking forward to reading her solo series someday), Creote is in it, and the bit where Deadshot shoots the villain was great. There are some confusing continuity touches, though: Ice, of old Justice League International fame, appears, but not in a way that's really clear to new readers. Or even this old one who hasn't read any JLI-era stuff in nearly a decade. Though bringing in other heroes is nice in theory, I think we have more than is needed here; the Birds seem to work pretty well with three or four.

The highlight is definitely the ending, where Oracle finally takes on the Spy Smasher, and we see what really makes her stronger (hint: it's not being stronger). Dinah puts in a final appearance, which is great, and then there's one, final page that sums up everything that's great about Barbara.

For the first time in so many Birds of Prey books I can't even remember it (six, actually), Dead of Winter is illustrated all the way through by one artistic team, Nicola Scott and Doug Hazlewood. The consistency is nice, of course, but what's even better is that Scott and Hazlewood are good. Their heroes (male and female alike) are attractive without falling into male gaze-type territory, and the artwork is nice and clean without being too cartoon-ish on one hand, or too "realistic" on the other. Good faces, especially. I don't like the way they draw Oracle's glasses, but if that's not nitpicking, I don't know what is.

This is the last (for now) Gail Simone volume, and though it's not as good as some (The Battle Within and Perfect Pitch are probably the apex of her run to me), it's a good way to go out. I look forward to seeing what happens next, especially if Nicola Scott and Doug Hazlewood are going to stick around.

Faster than a DC Bullet, Issue #7: The Death of Superman

Comic trade paperback, ~168 pages
Published 1993 (contents: 1992)
Borrowed from a friend
Read November 2008

The Death of Superman

Writers: Dan Jurgens, Jerry Ordway, Louise Simonson, Roger Stern

Pencillers: John Bogdanove, Tom Grummett, Jackson Guice, Dan Jurgens
Inkers: Brett Breeding, Rick Burchett, Doug Hazlewood, Dennis Janke, Denis Rodier
Letterers: John Costanza, Albert DeGuzman, Bill Oakley, Willie Schubert
Colorists: Gene D'Angelo, Glenn Whitmore

DC Universe Timeline: Four Years Ago
Real World Timeline: 1992

(Holy crap, we're vaulting to the present day at this rate. Apparently the past sixteen years of comics take place in four years? No wonder Superman decided to die-- he just wanted some time off.)

In the early 1990s, comic book writers decided to kill off Superman, knowing that it would allow them to sell a bazillion copies, even to schmucks who don't buy comic books. Rather than have someone awesome kill of Superman, like Lex Luthor, they decided to invent someone totally lame to do it instead. Meet the Darth Maul of the DC Universe: Doomsday.

We're introduced to Doomsday as a big green fist smashing its way through a wall. The best part of this is that breaking your way out of a subterranean capsule apparently makes the sound effect KRAAKK! KARAAKK! KRAKA-DOOM! I hope someone out there is collecting the stupid textually-represented sound effects comics are filled with; this one deserves to be on the list. As the issue's main plot progresses, we get little snaps of what this gigantic fellow is up to. His first act of violence? He kills a bird. Exactly how this is supposed to establish him as a threat is beyond me. "Oh no, how will Superman defeat the horrendous... BIRD KILLER? He has the power to crunch two-pound lifeforms with his bare hands!" He can also fell trees.

After that excitement-filled, opening, we cut to an orphan kid buying spraypaint in a hardware store. Apparently, his mother's been kidnapped by a gang of thugs looking to "steal electricity". Lois Lane gets some sort of tip, and leaves Clark a message on his computer. "Very high tech of her," comments Clark when he shows up at work. I think this is sort of putting paid to the notion that this story somehow takes place in 2004. The underground monsters end up stealing Metropolis's electricity, but Superman defeats them fairly easily. They're lead by a scruffy homeless man named Charlie who's actually working for Superman in any case; we're not exactly talking about a strong opposition. They come from a place called "War World"; no one ever bothers to explain why they're hanging out in the sewers or what they're going to do with their electricity. Superman leaves Charlie in the sewer in the end, because homeless people can't aspire to live better lives.

After this thrilling adventure, we cut back to the monster thing, who has just attacked a tanker... in Ohio! Apparently the monster thing came from Ohio. This makes me mildly better disposed towards him. Actually, I think this is the first time I've ever seen Ohio in a superhero comic. I bet he comes from Cleveland, though. The Justice League has been called in to deal with the tanker fire, as apparently they don't have firefighters in the DC Universe. An officer of the highway patrol thanks the Leaguers for helping out: "I'm well aware that Ohio is out of your normal area of jurisdiction--" What! I'm pretty sure this is set during the era when the Justice League was all "International" and worked for the UN; is Ohio not a UN member?

After the monster kills a deer, the Justice League springs into action (in Blue Beetle's totally awesome flying beetle) and combats him. They catch up to him outside Lex Oil's Ohio facility, where they are trounced pretty easily. Superman ditched a TV talk show where he's been doing an interview and flies to the rescue. "How could one man stand against the whole League?" he thinks. Whoa, slow down Superman. It's not like Wonder Woman, Batman, or even the Flash are part of the League now; we're talking about Blue Beetle, Booster Gold, Bloodwynd, Fire and Ice, Guy Gardner, and Maxima. These aren't exactly heavy hitters. Guy, as much as I love him, is in one of the periods where he's been kicked out of the Green Lantern Corps, so he's dressed even worse than usual, and I'm pretty sure I could take out Blue Beetle. And I've never even heard of Bloodwynd or Maxima. This comic doesn't exactly inspire me to want to know more about them, either. I'm pretty sure Maxima's power is being stupid. And having an invincible midriff.

Superman finally shows up after half the League has been incapacitated. "I'm telling you, right now--" says Booster Gold "--it's like doomsday is here!" Yes, Booster, I can certainly see how wiping out a tanker and an oil facility would make this the biggest threat the League's ever seen. For some reason, Superman decides that "Doomsday" must be the monster's name. Not good with comprehension, our Superman.

It's the early 1990s, so unfortunately about half of Superman's opening battle with Doomsdayis intercut with a long-haired teenager with attitude who hates his mother. Superman hates this kid even more than I do, however; when he's trapped in a rampaging inferno, Superman flies away, thinking, "I have to... block out that plea for help!" What a nice guy.

Superman decides that even if the whole Justice League couldn't take Doomsday down, he can. He's got a point. Superman refers to the monster as "Mr. Destructo" at one point; I wish that name had stuck instead of "Doomsday"; it would have given this story the gravitas it deserves. We learn that the battle is occurring in "Kirby County, Ohio"-- there's no such place, though Wikipedia informs me that there is a "Kirby, Ohio" south of Findlay. On the other hand, Route 110 runs through the area, which is actually an 11-mile state highway in Henry County, west of Bowling Green. The governor of Ohio is mentioned; during this time, that would have been George Voinovich. The lieutenant governor actually particaptes in a phone conversation, where he is repeatedly insulted. Poor Mike DeWine.

For some reason, there's a sequence where Jimmy Olsen is dressed as a giant turtle. Then, a news anchor informs us that "It appears 'Doomsday' is on a straight path crossing from Ohio through New York State... Some theorize that the creature is on a straight course to-- or through-- Metropolis." Apparently, the news has magically got wind of Superman's misbegotten nickname for the creature. And Pennsylvania does not exist in the DC Universe. Thank God.

Superman fights Doomsday by a gas station. Can't anyone ever catch up to this guy not in proximity to flammable materials? Now we learn that the gas station is in "the village of Griffith in upstate Kirby County." Doomsday must be fluctuating the fabric of space or something, because Griffith is in eastern Ohio, nowhere near Kirby or Route 110. Alarmed by the fact that the writers don't know a thing about geography, Jack Kirby's Golden Guardian shows up. Now, I like random appearances by Fourth World characters as much as the next guy, but all he does is talk to Superman and telepathically commune with Dubbilex. Thanks a lot, dude.

All of a sudden, Doomsday's attacking a Lex-Mart in Midvale, which is about fifty miles northwest of Griffith. So much for his beeline towards Metropolis. And "Lex-Mart"? Are there any other megacorporations in the DC Universe? At the Lex-Mart, Doomsday watches an ad for a wrestling match at the Metropolis Arena. Why wrestling matches an eight-hour drive away are being advertised on this TV station is beyond me. Doomsday is intrigued by this ad and decides to head for Metropolis... despite a reporter telling us fifteen pages ago that he was heading straight towards it.

Superman and Doomsday continue to punch each other a lot. This has been going on for about fifty pages, now. I'm starting to miss the sewer folks. They might have been stupid, but that made them entertaining. Doomsday is pure tedium.

More proof that it's the early 1990s materializes with Lois Lane's awful aviators and Lex Luthor's long, flowing locks. Since when did Lex Luthor have hair, anyway? Or hang out with Supergirl?

Doomsday looks at a sign and learns that he's only sixty miles from Metropolis. Which would place him and Superman somewhere in New Jersey, I think. What the heck? What happened to Midvale? Or all of Pennsylvania, for that matter? If you're wondering why I'm focusing on the geography so much, it's because it's the only interesting thing happening here. Unless you count Superman and Doomsday throwing each other at things again and again. Including the Wild Area, which is a giant treehouse outside of Metropolis. Why wasn't this retconned out of existence during the Crisis? The Golden Guardian is still tagging along, still doing nothing. He finally decides that Doomsday is too big for Superman to handle alone... and promptly never appears in the story again. Way to go, dude.

It wouldn't help much, though. Supergirl attacks Doomsday and gets turned into a featurelss purple thing with googly eyes. I don't know what kind of punch can do that, but it's one I'd stay away from.

"This insanity ends in Metropolis!" Superman shouts outside of a Lexpark Garage. What, were the geographically confused inhabitants of Kirby County, Ohio not worthy of your best efforts? I guess not-- Ohio's not part of the UN after all.

As sensitive as ever, Jimmy Olsen (thankfully not dressed like a turtle) is excited that Doomsday's killing hundreds of Metropolis residents because it gives him some good photographs. No wonder he can't ever get a girlfriend.

Superman's cape is torn off and wraps itself around a convenient wooden pole.

Superman and Doomday punch each other for a series of one-panel pages. Superman takes one in the jaw. "Bony protrustions... so sharp.. he cut me!" he shouts. Yes, my natural reaction getting punched is also to describe the punch.

PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH PUNCH. PUNCH. PUNCH.

Finally, Superman decides to punch Doomsday really hard. Hard enough to kill him. Why didn't he think of this earlier? I don't know, but it's too late. Because he dies.

The narrator tells me that everyone will remember this day for years because Superman dies. He doesn't bother to mention that he only stays dead for a few months. Personally, I wasn't crying; I was rejoicing. Because the whole mess was finally over.

Note that this originally appeared on my old LiveJournal and included pictures back then. Sadly, the pictures are lost in the mists of the Internet.